I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
