just come out here and I will go home with you...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize