whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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