have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize