So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize