FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
