Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
