I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
