And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
