We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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