It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You've changed since you got that strap on
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
