Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
