I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
