is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
