put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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