8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize