Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize