you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
