My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
