i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
