he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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