At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
