My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
