shes about as inviting as chlamydia
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Still dying that you shit outside
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
