I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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