i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
