He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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