I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
