dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
