I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm having to shit out rocks
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