You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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