thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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