Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
