I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
