Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
