No, drunk sperm still make babies.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize