Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize