Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
operation have a gay friend backfired
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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