At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
