No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
