fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
