It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Is Oprah even human
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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