My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
