your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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