when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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