she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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