What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
