party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
