He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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