The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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