U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
