Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
