I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
