Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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