i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize