if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My pussy is not your playground.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
