the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
