his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize