totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
