If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
we should paint friendship bongs
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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