I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
